Can't

I'm so done with wishing, you were still here.

We're just in different places in life now. I think I want to let go.

Just A Dream

It's beautiful outside. School's closed because of the snow storm. The city is under a blanket of glittery powder snow. I'm looking out my window right now and the snowflakes are falling ever so slowly, very much like when you shake a snow-globe and the snow inside fall slowly back to the ground as they travel though the oil in the snow-globe.

I actually stopped doing my Chemistry graphs because I just had to write about it.

I was talking to my boyfriend last night. He asked me if I still love him. Of course I said yes, but my mind was screaming, "Lies, lies!". I don't know what to do. I still love him though. Things just aren't the same anymore.

Free Bibles!

I was waiting outside for my Physics when this lady approached me and talked to me for a good amount of time about free Bibles and Bible study groups. She then proceeded to give me a Bible. I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't Catholic and I haven't been to church since I graduated from my Catholic high school.

I think I should read the Bible though. It's about time I sat down with it.

But I just finished Northern Lights, and I really, really want to read The Amber Spyglass, or The Subtle Knife... whichever comes first.

Snow Storm

Every day in school is like a monotonous cycle. Get up, make oatmeal, make coffee, eat oatmeal, forget about coffee, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, walk to class, be in class, try not to sleep in class, get out of class, dodge the texting people and the other slow ass walkers, be in class... you get the drift.

Once in a while, class isn't so boring. The professor might have really good stories to tell, or the lecture is great and interesting, or you're not sleepy for once. It's all good.

I have been, and still in, a relationship for a little over a year. It's a long distance relationship, much to my dismay. I don't believe in long distance relationships, and yet I'm in one. The irony. Don't get me wrong, I love him very much. But sometimes I wonder how nicer it would if he were here with me.

Or if I was with someone else, who was also here too.

I was sitting in class one day and I saw this boy that I met at a party right before I met my current boyfriend. He was sitting amongst his friends and I quickly looked at something else when he turned my direction. I knew he would have recognized me, even with my short hair. We were sitting in the same row and two seats away from each other.

I wonder, had I gotten together with him instead of my current boyfriend, we could be sitting together. Doing homework together. I could spend half the week at his place and he stay with me for the rest. We could choose our courses together - basically be together throughout university. That would be nice.

But no, we're not together. My long distance relationship with my boyfriend is crumbling. It's just not the same anymore.